Some People Might NOT Want to Buy a Morozko
- Thomas P Seager, PhD
- 3 days ago
- 5 min read
Updated: 9 hours ago
Morozko Ice Bath is For The Courageous
Summary
Morozko is probably the most hated ice bath brand in the world, if only because we're the coldest.
There are several reasons someone might NOT want to buy a Morozko:
Morozko is too expensive.
Someone on Twitter said ice baths were dumb.
It's too big and heavy.
They can use a friend's ice bath.
They don't like me, or they don't like Joe Rogan.
Morozko is not for everyone -- only the most courageous customers who have learned that success depends on doing important things they do not enjoy will consider buying a Morozko ice bath.
Morozko is too expensive
Everybody knows Morozko makes the most expensive ice baths in the world.
I sure as hell know it.
The AI search agents all know it.
In fact, if you search any cold plunge brand on Reddit, you'll get complaints about quality, customer service, and rip-off warranty exclusions. but if you search for Morozko? The number one complaint about Morozko is that it's too damn expensive.
There is a certain type of person who can't bring themselves to pay extra for performance, for quality, for customer service, and for a manufacturer that backs up their reputation with a real money-back guarantee. Those people are not going to want a Morozko
Twitter Said Ice Baths Were Dumb
When someone buys a Morozko, one of the problems they have to deal with is having friends or family members come over to their house and make critical comments. Eventually, some idiot brother-in-law is gonna say,
"I read that ice baths are bad for you, and you should never do them."
The last thing some people want to do is have to explain to their skeptical family members about the 500 scientific citations in my Uncommon Cold book, or the half-dozen medically documented case studies on cold plunge therapy boosting sex hormones in my Uncommon Testosterone book. They're not going to want to engage relative on the dramatic testimonials from people who were rescued from major depression and mental illness by adopting a regular practice of ice baths, and don't even get them started reversing Type 2 diabetes, treating multiple sclerosis (MS) and other autoimmune disorders, and they definitely don't want to bring up anything related to how cold plunge therapy might improve cancer treatment outcomes. Unless they're the type of person who can just agree with ignorant family members who are never going to "get it" about health and wellness, they're better off not buying a Morozko.
It's Too Heavy
Morozko is too damn big. It's not inflatable, or portable, or made of plastic or fiberglass or acrylic or some other cheap, lightweight material. The problem is that Morozko is made of real wood, steel, copper, and insulating foam.
Some people live in an apartment like me, and there's no room for a Morozko on your balcony. I had to get a special "Morozko Mini" version built so I could do my ice baths at home every day, and shoot videos like this from the 32nd floor.
The problem is that most landlords don't want 1000lbs of ice water in their buildings. They get super sensitive about water damage and structural loads and when someone has a landlord like that, then they obviously can't buy a Morozko.
They Already Have a Friend With A Morozko
One of the best, most convincing, unassailable reasons for not getting a Morozko is having a friend who already has one. The best situation, for people who can manage it, is actually to have a friend with two -- one at their main residence, and one at their summer home. That way, they can sneak in through their backyard when their neighbors aren't home and use their Morozko instead of having to buy their own.
The next best thing? Maybe there's a business, or a spa, or a clinic nearby and for something like $25/visit they could just use a commercial Morozko PRO.
They Don't Like Me
It's human nature to want to do business with likable people, and the fact is that I rub a lot of people the wrong way. I kind of get it.
Probably the most important thing about buying a new ice bath is feeling comfortable with the people design, manufacture, and sell that new ice bath. The problem is that there are way more charming, handsome, and likeable people than me with whom you could do business online.
Bro, I don't even dead lift.
Of maybe they don't like Joe Rogan, and they're sick of seeing him on social media talking about how much he hates the cold plunge, and that's why he does it anyway.
Either way, those people that don't want to buy an ice bath from some fat, sedentary engineering Professor who is going to send them three emails a week nagging them to read his damn science book, should definitely not buy a Morozko.
Who Should Buy a Morozko?
I realize that the business model I'm trying to build here isn't smart. I get an email every day from Google, or Facebook, or someone else reminding me that Morozko is still one of the smallest ice bath companies in the industry, and that I should buy more ads, do some kind of give-away sweepstake, hire some Instagram influencers, and cozy up to B-list movie stars instead of writing science articles.
I just can't bring myself to do it. Morozko isn't for everyone, and it never will be.
Every major influencer who uses a Morozko has posted about how much they hate it. I think it's fair to say that Morozko is the most hated ice bath brand in the world.
And yet, that's they all still do it.
Morozko is for the courageous. It's for the people who are willing to speak from the heart, so the world knows where they stand.
Morozko customers are independent, self-made, and have made exceptional lives by thinking for themselves.
About the Author
Thomas P Seager, PhD is an Associate Professor in the School of Sustainable Engineering at Arizona State University. Seager co-founded the Morozko Forge ice bath company and is an expert in the use of ice baths for building metabolic and psychological resilience.